Hi, fellow parents. It’s been more than a year since we last wrote here. A lot has happened since then—some good, some bad, but all learning experiences nonetheless. I’ve been driven by this strong urge tonight to write what I’ve learned about parenting so far.

I am no expert at parenting—I’ve only been a mom for a little over two years—but let me share with you the little wisdom and insight I’ve been able to glean from publications by professionals (i.e., doctors, psychologists, caregivers), Scriptures, the experiences of other parents, including my own, and my own experiences as a mother.

Every child is special. Each child has been blessed with gifts—talents, personality traits—that make him unique in all the world.

All families are different. What works for one family may not necessarily work for another. It’s all about finding out what’s best for your child, and this is usually through trial and error.

A stable home life equals a strong, confident, healthy child. Whether you’re married or raising your kid on your own, being happy, confident, and at peace is crucial to building a strong foundation of happiness and confidence for your child. Make your home a safe haven for both of you.

Children are extremely smart and perceptive. They can easily grasp what is being said and what is not being said.

You are your child’s first and foremost role model. Children learn more from mimicking rather than following verbal instructions. Speak and behave as you wish for them to speak and behave. Set a good example.

Nurture what nature gave you. Don’t force your child to be someone he is not, instead guide and help enhance his natural inclinations.

Be flexible and creative. Make allowances for your child’s unique personality traits when teaching and guiding.

Let your child make mistakes. By allowing your child to be exposed to different experiences, he learns to connect the effect to the cause. Not only does this help in developing his cognitive skills, it also builds his confidence in making decisions on his own; and will certainly go a long way in helping him make mature decisions in the future.

Allow your child to experience the bad, not just the good. The other day, our kid had a minor accident from regular play and had a little cut. I wanted to buy medicine immediately; I was worried that the cut would be too painful for him. But my husband disagreed. He said our child should have this experience. What I realized then was that sometimes, we as parents, in our wish to shield our children from all pain, hinder them from having experiences that will contribute to their growth. They need these experiences, these challenges, literal and figurative, to help them be strong, able, and capable people in all aspects of life.

Exposure to nature is important. Our parents exposed us to nature very early in life. We grew up playing outdoors, digging in the dirt, observing how earthworms, snails, and bugs behave, and listening to our dad’s lectures/stories about how nature works. This early exposure to nature and the detailed explanations of how every life form is interconnected has had a strong impact on me. More than just appreciating how beautiful and amazing the world is, it has made me realize at a young age that in the grand scheme of things, we are just a small part of creation and it is not just all about us humans. At the same time, it has shown me how special we are that we are a part of it. Have you ever felt paradoxically small and and big at the same time? I often do when I look at the stars or feel the wind on my face. I believe exposure to nature has made me a more caring and empathetic person.

Converse with your child. It’s a great bonding activity and does leaps and bounds for his development. And it’s great fun, too. I always laugh when I talk to my child. He is just the smartest and funniest little guy.

Read to your child. Same as talking, it’s a great way for you and your child to spend time together, and helps develop his imagination and improve his vocabulary.

Encourage his curiosity. Answer his questions. Be patient in explaining things. Encourage him to explore and make discoveries on his own.

Balance technology with other activities. If you allow your child to watch television or play with computers, make sure to balance it with other activities. Play outside, solve some puzzles, sing and dance.

Teach your child to say “Please” and “Thank You.” It’s never too early to teach your child politeness and courtesy.

Learning is fun. My child and I play with flash cards, activity books, posters, and the like, not only to teach him the alphabet and numbers, but because he enjoys these activities.

Nobody is perfect. Be patient with your child. Be patient with your spouse. Be patient with yourself.

Asking for help does not make you any less of a parent. Sometimes it even enhances it.

Me time is important. As I’ve said before, to take care of others you must first take care of yourself.

Enjoy your time together while it lasts. I have a teenage nephew. Like most boys his age, he is sullen, moody, and antisocial (only when it comes to his family). I remember like it was only yesterday how he used to climb into my bed to wake me up and we would cuddle for a while; how he would run, climb up to me, and make a perfect jackknife; how he would make us all laugh (deliberately or not) with his antics. He was the sweetest little boy and I really, really miss him—that little boy who thought it was so cool to spend time with me. So now, when my son wants to spend time with me, even if I’m busy or when I think he’s being too clingy, I remember my nephew and remind myself how fleeting time is and how special this gift of time and presence that has been given me. So as much as possible, I try to put aside whatever it is that I am doing and focus on him. As a rule, I almost never go online when I am at home because I want to be present in the moment for him and with him.

Your child is a gift. Cherish him. To me, my family is God’s love for me personified. I know God loves me because I see it in my child’s eyes, I hear it in his laugh. When I am tired, when my patience is wearing thin, I remind myself that parenthood is a blessing. I pray for grace, I pray for strength. And God provides. Always.

Tell your child you love him. Be generous with hugs and kisses. Let him know he is loved.

These are but a few but I’m sure there is plenty more to learn. I think I’ll never run out of new insights and discoveries until I die, and I’m happy about that.

Care to share with us what you’ve learned about parenting so far?

Yours,

Mommy Ria